Friday, November 17, 2006

What to do, What to do-Basic Journal Entry Vent

Hello all. I am at my clients house snuggling and playing with the fuzzy ones and now that they are eating I am taking a moment to blog before play time begins. Usually it takes them a while to eat and then they give themselves a bath and walk around a bit before wanting to play so I figure I have time.
Any way I am trying to decide what I should do about my work and I figure it can't hurt to vent about it here. I have worked there about a year now. I was doing one job and doing quite a good job at it and all was fine. I did however get the feeling that the owner did not particularly like me. He did and said a few things to indicate this and each time a problem occurred that required him to get involved it seemed he was holding it against me even though it was usually something out of every one's control or that he himself had caused.
After working at the job I had for nearly six months they decided to give me an additional job along with me still doing the one that I had. This was fine with me because it increased my hours therefore my pay and it had more potential for growth within the company. As I was being trained to do the job I was told by the person training me that it was a bad job to have because the bosses were constantly undermining each other and therefore you and that they were never satisfied and didn't see what issues they caused themselves as they would always find ways to blame it on you. I have now come to find this to be true.
As I worked at this job doing it just as I was trained yet asking for more training and not getting it I found that each boss would come to me and tell me something different to do. With my direct boss being out of town for months at a time it was difficult to determine who I should listen to but it only made sense from my military background that I listen to the highest ranking one of them all. That is what I did. He told me over and again not to do the old job and to only do the new one. Eventually all of the bosses told me that and that I should only complete the tasks of my old job when there was an emergency request. This is what I did.
Eventually because my bosses are the type to want what they want right then regardless of future consequence they were always wanting me to rob Peter to pay Paul. In the end this screwed them as eventually Peter ran out of money and Paul never had any to begin with. Of course they saw that as my issue and when I explained to them what the situation was they accused me of lying and then fired me. I suggested to them that they just demote me instead of firing me and they listened to their egos instead of their brains and screwed themselves once again.
Two or three weeks later they called me back to work because the work in the demotion I requested needed to be completed for an upcoming audit. I thought about it for a day or so and called them agreeing to take the job. I explained to them that I had increased my clients in order to compensate for the loss of the job so I would have to work weird hours around my clients schedules. They agreed and here I am back at work. All went well and then I became sick with a pretty bad cold. I have been out two days now going on 3 and they are becoming irritated because the audit is quickly approaching. This is of course the audit they would already be prepared for had they demoted me instead of hiring me but of course somehow this is my fault. I am sick and even when I am sick I rarely take days off for it. As a matter of fact in the last year I have only had a total of about 4 days off including these day due to sickness. Of course they are the types to twist everything so that it looks like it is all my fault so I can see it is just a matter of time before I am back into the land of the jobless. With all this in mind it is a question as to whether or not I should even go back at all. I know there is money to be made elsewhere and I have no doubt I can find an immediate job to pay the bills though it would be for less money. I know of a night job that I can work for 4 hours nightly and make about 1200 a month so that would pay the bills along with my clients. If I worked that job I could clean out my house within a month and move my girlfriend in with me which would reduce the bills in half and save me money and then spend another month looking for a good day job and still have time to meditate-pray and exercise. It is tempting to leave the stress for less pay and tempting to sell myself out for more pay. In the end it is a choice of what stress would I rather have 1- Stress of assholes at my job micromanaging me and causing things to go wrong and eventually finding a way to blame it all on me and firing me when I least expect it or 2 - Stress of less pay but still having the bills covered and working less hours therefore reducing stress in half the other parts of my life in general. I am leaning toward the less pay option. Just because it reduces stress almost everywhere else but money and money is easy to find if you just work at it. We'll see what my girlfriend says.


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